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Friends Only...
---------------------------XOXOXO
This is not actually an act of caution in which I protect myself from the world;
more like I am attempting to protect the world from myself.
But if you would like to friend me,
be my guest.
Just leave me a forewarning in the form of a comment,
and maybe mention a couple of things we have in common so I know what to talk to you about.
Thanks. ♥
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I have two essays to write today.

So I figured I'd blog a little and get the creative juices flowing. I've actually been in a bit of a writing mood lately. I got super-excited when I saw the LiveJournal essay competition advertised on the front page, because it's about feminism, one of my absolute favorite discussion topics. But, being the Mary Sue that I am, I read all of the rules first and discovered that--like always--you must be 18 or older to enter. Which sucks, royally, because I was going to write about our Women's Advocacy club at school, which would've made a great story.

I kind of miss my shows. They all seem to be on break right now. Grey's Anatomy has been gone for two weeks (although it's new this week!), and CI's been gone for a while too, at least the good episodes have (I don't watch the Logan/Wheeler episodes...I can't tolerate Wheeler. I was a Barek fan). Strangely enough, I find myself missing the characters, even the ones I don't like. Even--oh, and this is funny--even Nicole Wallace. [*If you're not a CI fan, feel free to skip this story and move on to the next paragraph. Even if you're a casual watcher, this might not make sense to you, so...carry on, I guess.] Anyway, for those of you still with me, I had a little Nicole Wallace incident the other day coming out of the dressing room in Ross. I was standing there with my selections draped over my arm, waiting for an employee to make sure I hadn't shoplifted anything before going to pay. I was just standing there, spacing out, when a voice behind me interrupted my thoughts to ask, "Excuse me, do you have a pair of scissors?" It was a lovely measured voice with a slightly lilting cadence and a perfectly tailored Australian accent, and I swear to God it sounded just like Nicole's. I literally whipped around, only to find a woman who was short, brunette, freckly, very pretty, and glaringly not Olivia D'Abo. What was more, she wasn't even speaking to me; she was speaking to a sales assistant, who gave her the appropriate tool and gave me a strange look, probably thinking I was on drugs because I was so jumpy. Turns out Pretty Australian Lady was stuck in the dress she had been trying on; what a shame, it was a lovely dress, and it looked nice on her, too. But I was slightly disappointed she wasn't Olivia D'Abo, and slightly frightened at myself for thinking she might be, if only for a fraction of a second. This is what happens when I'm deprived of my TV.

Oh, but I've been meaning to mention...(and we're back on the subject of writing now--so I've got slight ADD, leave me alone XD). I just started my first original character story in over a year (excepting my brief and pathetic attempt at a NaNoWriMo entry). We'll see where it goes. I don't quite know what to make of it yet; I don't even know if I like it or not. But hey, it's something.
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If you once were in jail or you once were a man...

If your mother and your brother had relations with each other
And your father was connected to the Gotti clan
I'd say, "Well, you know, nobody's perfect,"
It's tragic but it's true
I'd say "Hey, hey, Shiksa goddess
I've been waiting for someone like you."
(Haha. I love The Last 5 Years.)

Well, I for one had another lovely weekend. I spent most of Saturday down at the Teen Center helping the Youth Commission get ready for their annual dance for disabled kids, and that was really fun. I spent most of the time writing on the signs (apparently I have neat handwriting; I'm actually not too fond of it, personally) and hanging crepe paper. I actually spent about an hour quietly steaming from the ears because the guy that runs the Teen Center made the mistake of ruffling my feminist feathers. What happened was the girl in charge of hanging signs (I think her name was Lauren?) poked her head into the room I was working in and asked if anyone there wasn't afraid of heights. I'm not and never have been, so I volunteered to go up on the ladder and pin the signs up for her, because she apparently has a slight acrophobia herself. So I get up on the ladder and am absolutely fine, perfectly balanced and happy as a clam, plucking T-pins out of the wall with both hands and chatting with the girl who was handing the signs up to me. As I am doing this, the guy in charge of the Teen Center keeps casting me these worried glances, and asking, "Are you okay? Are you sure you're okay up there on that ladder? Are you going to fall? Someone--I need someone to get behind her, to catch her if she falls. Maybe we should get a boy to do this. Are you sure you're not going to fall?" Finally, he actually hailed this boy over and made me abdicate my position on the top of the ladder, and he kept saying, "A boy could do it better. This is a boy's job. A boy could do it better." And, as if that was not enough, the boy in question was actually there because he needed community service hours to present to the school board as he was on suspension for vandalism--he didn't even want to be there or help at all, he was just sitting on the couch. I was very, very tempted to just drop down in the middle of the floor, cross my arms, and wait for him to ask what I was doing so I could say, "Nothing. Oh, wait, actually, maybe I should stop doing nothing, because I'm absolutely positive that boy could do it better. It is a boy's job, after all." But instead, I swallowed my pride, thought of the disabled kids that would be attending the dance, decided it would be better for everyone involved if I just sucked it up and went to hang streamers, and silently vowed never ever to volunteer with the Youth Commission again.

Although Alex Johnson and I had fun on lunch break, and that kind of made me forget about being mortally offended. Behind the Teen Center they have this huge patch of long brownish-greenish grass that backs up to a creek and looks kind of like a meadow, and in the middle of it they had a single bright blue picnic table, that happy shade of blue that makes you think of summer skies and jelly beans and playground equipment. No one was sitting on the table and Alex and I couldn't understand why, so we took our disgusting Subway sandwiches and walked through the grass and sat down across from each other on the picnic table. There must be a huge dandelion patch somewhere near that creek, because the wind was blowing dry and hot and it was carrying with it thousands and thousands of little white dandelion tufts. The whole scene was very beautiful, and it would've been wonderfully romantic if Alex or I had any amount of interest in each other at all, but as we didn't we just sat and enjoyed the view and talked about school and life and friends and what our plans were for college and beyond. We actually had a rather interesting discussion about Miss Mills, in which Alex made some VERY interesting comments that I've been sworn ne'er to repeat (but of course, I told Alexandra, because I think Alex J. expected that one anyway).

Anyway, I left there around three PM, and just kind of chilled at home for a while until Alex (the other Alex, my BFF Alex) called and wanted to know if I could spend the night at her house. So then I went over there, and we sat on her bed and pored over the first issue of the Grey's Anatomy magazine (which I didn't even know existed...Tiffany saw it and got it for me. I love her!) and giggled like the teenagers we are. Then we sat on her couch and ate wheat crackers and watched old reruns of Friends and Sex and the City, and were saddened because it was the episode where Carrie tells Aidan that she and Big had an affair while they were dating. We actually fell asleep pretty early, because Alex had an audition today and I was going to leave her house at like ten thirty so she could get dressed and down to LA. Normally I have weird dreams at her house, but last night I don't remember having any. Although I think I might have had one I didn't remember in which I was married, because in the middle of the night I rolled over and bumped into Alex, and my brain was in that hazy shade of gray between being awake and being asleep, and the first thing I thought was, "Wait...there's someone in bed with me...did I cheat on my husband?" But then I opened my eyes and saw who it was (I was still 99.9% asleep--I think I actually said, "Oh, hi, Alex," before I conked out again).

Yeah, so I left her house early, and because I was bored with no prospective plans for the day, I persuaded my mother into having a Girl's Day Out with me. We went down to Ross to pick out a cheap dress for the Spring Fling that my school may or may not be having, and I found this dress that I'm completely in love with. (And yes, I know it looks like the dress is squeezing my boobs, but that was just at a weird angle--it actually doesn't. I would never ever buy a dress that did that.) I'm very happy with it, and my fashion consultant (aka Mother) liked it as well. And when I brought it home and modeled it, my dad even said it was pretty. Then we went and split a luau burger (the kind with teriyaki glaze and pineapples. God I love those things) and talked about college and our family. Then we went and saw Zodiac, which I thought was riveting, but apparently the rest of the audience didn't agree, because a bunch of them got up and walked out like an hour and a half into the thing. But hey, we thought it was really good. They didn't botch up the details of the case too badly, and I have to say, that Jake Gyllenhaal is very cute. It really got me thinking (and shuddering--I hated The Most Dangerous Game when we had to read it for English last year, and I will hate it unwaveringly till the day I die.) Then I got a cake batter ice cream with a Twix bar mixed in at Cold Stone's, which is basically the cure-all for everything from heartbreak to a headache. And now I'm here, steadfastly procrastinating my homework and waiting for my family to evacuate the living room so I can make myself some tea and curl up on the couch until the wee hours of the morning, which I've been doing increasingly frequently lately. I never thought that I of all people would be an insomniac in later life--I used to sleep like a log. But now I just can't fall asleep anymore.

Oh well. More HBO OnDemand movies for me. The other night I watched Walk the Line for the fifth time. I really like that movie.
  • Current Music
    "Shiksa Goddess" from the Last 5 Years
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Oh, and I forgot...

I've been meaning to post the results of a few Blogthings surveys, because I thought they were funny. Feel free to skip if you like, but I recommend you take some of them, because they're actually pretty fun.
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We've been havin' a wild wild party...

Whee. What a fun day. I've sort of been riding a high ever since lunch began. (A high on life, of course--tsk tsk, those of you who thought I was speaking of something else!) Alex and I followed Hans' instructions and went to wait for him in the French room, where we learned that non-members (see: us) ARE allowed to go with French Club on their Wicked field trip, and tickets are only thirty two dollars! (Mass amounts of fangirl squealing and dancing here, ladies and gents: this will make my third time seeing my show! How lucky can a girl get?!)

Anyway, that was exhilirating, to say the least, and while we were still giddy from that information, we trekked over to Miss Mills' room (singing "Fame" the whole way there--don't ask me why, Alex started it) because I had a question to ask her regarding my essay. A couple minutes after we got there she asked if we could stay and watch the classroom for her while she went out to pick up the sushi she'd ordered, and we of course obliged. (Watching the classroom here meaning spinning around in circles and dancing and singing and generally acting like freaks until she returned, much to the chagrin of poor Stephen, who was also unfortunately trapped in the room with us.) So she came back and I asked her my question and she answered it, and soon we fell to discussing Grey's Anatomy, and commiserating because we haven't had a new episode in two weeks. Somehow this turned to a discussion on the attractiveness of Eric Dane, and I immediately pulled out my favorite Eric Dane story: "I saw a picture of him in an Academy Awards after party, and they had this chocolate bar thing where you could get free chocolates, as many as you wanted, and he was leaning against the bar full of chocolate, and I was just like, 'Oooh...yummy.'" Let me tell you, Mills' face. Was. Priceless. She practically choked on her sushi and was like, "Young lady!" It was hysterical. Embarrassing, definitely, my face is heating up as I type this, but hysterical nonetheless. I suppose I ought to watch myself better around her, but it's easy to forget that she's my teacher. I mean, she wasn't mad or anything, we were all laughing, but technically she is my superior and I ought to be more respectful and yada yada yada. I kind of have a problem with superiority and authority figures. If they demand respect without any reason for me to respect them, I rebel. If they don't demand respect, or demand respect and have a good reason for it, I do end up respecting them, but I usually don't show it. I respect most of my teachers this year, but I talk to them like friends. Which is bad. Because that leads to incidents like today, where if Mills ever thought I was innocent or refined, she probably doesn't anymore. And I think she did, for a little while at least; most of my teachers seem to form this idea in their head that I'm the sweet, shy and innocent type, or something similarly chimerical. I guess when you're an Honors student with a habit of not saying much in class, it comes with the territory. But they're always so shocked when they see me after the bell rings, laughing and cursing and talking about guys.

But what can I say? I'm a teenage girl, I love chocolate, and Eric Dane is hella sexy.
  • Current Music
    "Is Someone Out There?" by Eden Espinoza
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Fly awaaaaaay, meadowlark, fly away on this silver morning!

If I stay I'll grow to curse the dark,
So it's off where the days won't bind me
I know I leave wounds behind me,
But I won't let tomorrow find me
Back this way

Oh my. I so adore Miss Stephanie J. Block*. ♥ ♥ ♥ I was talking to Sammi today about the night I met her, and I felt this wave of...almost homesickness, I guess, for this song, because I haven't listened to it in forever. So when I came home I turned it on, and it made me so happy. :) It's just one of those songs that does that for me. Stephanie's voice in general makes me happy. And now I want to e-mail her, because I haven't in a while. I was going to e-mail her to congratulate her for Pirate Queen, and then I was going to e-mail her to say happy birthday (that was in September, the 19th),  and then I was going to e-mail her to say congratulations on her engagement (Sebastian Arcelus, the Fiyero I saw my first time around! Squee! I hope they have kids; those kids would be gorgeous and extremely talented!), but I kept putting all of those e-mails off because I never know what to say to her (because she reads and responds to ALL of her e-mail AND she has this insanely good memory--she will remember your name and face even if she met you only once at a stagedoor three years ago. She still remembers what my shirt said when I met her XP). Anyway, now it seems too late to send any of those e-mails, plus I still don't know what to say to her. :( So I won't e-mail her. But I want to see her again. And I want to see her perform. Goddammit, I wish I lived in New York.
[ * Stephanie J. Block is a Broadway performer. She used to be pretty obscure, not many people knew about her, but then she got this starring role in The Pirate Queen and she is finally getting the recognition she deserves. I met her in August two years ago when my friend Moxley took me to this barbeque that her mother's friend was having. Turns out Steph was a family friend of the hostess, and she was in town for the Wicked tour, so she was there. [Insert Mass Amounts of Fangirl Squealing Here.] She was very sweet to us and answered our questions and took pity on the fact that we were too starstruck to speak and signed my T-shirt (which was Broadway oriented--it said "I Rent A Wicked Apartment on Avenue Q", hehe. Actually, if you clicked on the picture above of me and Sebastian Arcelus, I'm actually wearing it in that picture, not that you can tell. What a coincidence, that was years before they got engaged). Anyway, she's kind of like my idol. :)]
Aaaaanyway. Today was a lovely day, despite the fact that I flunked the Euro test (oh well). Miss Mills read my essay analyzing William Blake's "The Nurse's Song" as an example in class today, which was equal parts flattering and embarrassing. I had hoped that no-one would guess whose essay it was, as she made a nice pretense of not telling anyone, and I thought I was doing a fairly good job of looking politely disinterested until she finished reading it and this kid named Michael said, "Okay, that one was Linnea's. Look at her, her face is bright red." Everyone around me immediately started in with, "Oh, don't be embarrassed! It was really great!", which just made me blush more until Mills finally took pity on me and said, "Guys, stop, you're making it worse." I'm very flattered to have my essays read aloud in class, it's quite the ego stroke; I just don't like being present during the reading, because my face heats up involuntarily and I have the sudden urge to hide behind something.
So I had a dream last night. In my dream I had a boyfriend, this cute Indian boy who didn't speak a lick of English but somehow managed to ask me out. I said yes, and he took me to go see Mamma Mia! for our first date, and since he was the son of the mayor or something similarly important, he got really good seats. The show was just as fun as it was when I actually saw it (like a year ago), and we had a good time and I liked him a lot, and the first thing I did when I woke up this morning was reach for the phone to call him and tell him how much I enjoyed myself and how I'd love us to go out again. It wasn't until I had the phone in my hand and I was feverishly trying to remember his phone number that it hit me: Oh, hey, wait--he doesn't exist. [Insert disappointed whining here.]

Before my past, oh once again, can blind me
Fly away
And we won't wait, to say goodbye
My beautiful young man
And IiiiiiiiI!
  • Current Music
    "Meadowlark" by Stephanie J. Block
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Quote of the Day: "Actually, if I were on a desert island with OJ Simpson, I think that logarithms would be the least of my problems."

Thank you, Dalton, for that moment of comic relief.

This happened during math class today, when our ever-the-optimist teacher was trying to explain to the class when we'd ever have an opportunity to use logarithms in real life. Her first example was something about being stranded on a desert island and a dead pig, which I tuned out entirely. But then she mentioned working with bodies on a crime scene (my ears perked up at 'crime scene'...I watch too much L&O), and finding out an estimated time of death by working backwards with logarithms. Her exact words were something along the lines of, "Say you're in a house with OJ Simpson...oh, my, perhaps that wasn't appropriate to say at school--but supposing you were, and you were trying to figure out what happened to his wife and her estimated time of death, you'd take her body temperature..." Keep in mind that she jumped straight from the first example to the second, so our brains were all still back on the desert island, and suddenly OJ Simpson was there too, and we were all like, Wait, what?

And...that's just the kind of day it's been.

((Oh, but, speaking of Law & Order, I was checking that handy dandy little When Is Law and Order On? website, and I came across one that's playing tomorrow that I've never seen, called "Poison." Intrigued, I clicked on the episode description, and immediately thought of you, Alex.
POISON

"The detectives search for an "angel of death" who poisons victims with cyanide."))
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LOL--I forgot about this picture.

Was cleaning out digital camera card when I happened upon this...
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Alex and I took them while we were waiting for Rent to start. Look at where his eyes are; the man has no shame. Dirty, dirty Mr. Franklin...

In other news, I'm sick [again]. Staying home today thanks to a major case of the sniffles. My brother had it all of last week and I prayed I'd escape unharmed but, of course, I get it in the least convenient of times. Today was the Link Crew informational meeting, and one of my teachers recommended me to join. (Link Crew is like this Freshman Mentorship program...I had no previous intention of joining, but the letter they sent me was really flattering. It was like, "Link Leaders are upper-class students who are good role models for younger students...Link Leaders' communication skills, leadership potential, responsibility and personality have helped them succeed..." Which, of course, leads me to wonder: which teacher recommended me? Mills and Jackson know me too well. Donia and Hoag and Dyer and Chevalier don't know me at all. It must've been my math teacher. She likes me, for whatever reason. She always writes "positive attitude" on my report cards. :)) Anyway, I am planning on joining (because the letter was meant to stroke my ego and manipulate my feelings and it worked), but that means I have to miss our Women's Ad party tomorrow, at least for a little bit, so I can attend the other informational meeting. And I hope we don't have to get, like, interviewed, or anything, because I'm sick and I'm not happy and I've been being a royal bitch to everybody the past few days, and I might not be a good thing to unleash on a poor, hapless interviewer right now.

EDIT: Ugh. Trying to make myself a new LJ layout, except that I conveniently forgot that me + graphic-making programs of any kind = DISASTER. I don't know how to do anything. And my HTML knowledge doesn't apply to LJ either, because I know basic website building HTML, not CSS. XP Can anyone give me a template to work with or something?
  • Current Music
    "This Place is A Prison" by the Postal Service
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Relaxed and reclining...

Ohhh, what a peaceful weekend. Yesterday I did absolutely nothing, my lethargic day of relaxation interrupted only by a surprise visit by my mother's best friend Tiffany (a pleasant one, too; lethargy loves company!). Anyway, I didn't know she was coming, and she didn't arrive until late-ish (like 9 PM), so when she did come, I was sitting cross-legged on the couch in the oversized Broadway T-shirt she gave me, emotionally wrapped up in a rerun of SVU I'd never seen before ("Poison"...the one about the corrupt judge that hates Casey). I was yelling at the television when I heard the doorbell ring and heard the familiar voice, so my greeting was something like, "YOU CAN'T OBJECT FROM THE STAND, YOU LYING--oh, hi Tiffany!--BASTARD, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU HAVE NO LEGAL STANDING AS A WITNESS--" Anyway, once the episode ended I sat down to talk to her and my mother about boys and school and life, and a fun time was had by all. It was determined that sometime in the next couple weeks, Tiff and I are going to go see Zodiac and The Number 23, because she doesn't have anyone to go to R movies with because her son's only ten. She's also going to take me clandestinely to go get my eyebrows waxed, a covert operation that I seriously doubt my mother will fail to notice, but whatever. Then today was my Noah-bug's sixth birthday, a soccer party at which parents watched their kids play and I watched the particularly attractive Australian soccer coach who was ten years too old for me. I was kind of bummed because my favorite grandparents leave tomorrow for their jungle excursion down in the Yucatan (without me! I wanted to go so bad, they're going rafting and camping and exploring previously unseen Mayan ruins, but my mom wouldn't let me take the time off of school), and this was the last time I got to see them. But ah, well. I watched the pretty coach and socialized with my family and took in the prettiness of the park they'd chosen, filled with huge fir trees and wildflowers with groups of monarch butterflies flitting about. Now I'm making new binder covers for my white school binder and reading this online crime book about the Zodiac murders, because I'm intrigued. All in all, it has been quite a lovely weekend. :)
  • Current Music
    "Girl That Speaks No Word" --Infidels
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Damn.

Apparently that dinner was more exhausting then I thought. I woke up at noon this morning when my mom poked her head in the door to make sure I was still alive. Normally I get up at eleven on weekends, but I feel like I could've slept for another good hour or two.

So I took this test that a few people on my f-list have taken...
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  • Current Music
    "Sleeping In" by the Postal Service